Posts Tagged Happiness

Invest in happiness – Part 2 – I’d rather be shopping at Nordstrom

horton2bg_80799For part 1, click here

“I’d rather be shopping at Nortstrom”. I spotted that bumper sticker on my way home one day.”That is so sad” I thought. “I can’t believe people would reduce themselves to that”. I then quickly started my MP3 player, grabbed my PDA phone, drove on and spent antoher gallon of gas promising myself to not let that happen to me…

An inch passed my self-righteousness, I realized that I was really not all that different. I have owned 3 PDA’s in the last five years, four computers in the last 10 years and quite some more electronics gadgets. In college, I literally spent every dollar I made on electronics . The news was out : I was a consumer, and a pretty darn good one at that.

Life, Liberty and The pursuit of happy moments

I can track my lust for PDAs to about 10 years ago. One of my first professional assignment was a three months stint in Paris. “First time away from home, better get organized” I thought. So I found a cool Cassiopeia E-10 to hold all my life in before taking the plunge. It even had a voice recorder! I had an amazing time there. Every night, I would leave work at 6PM and just start walking down the streets of the city. About 15 miles a day, every day for three months. I spent countless hours making up melodies and recording them. And then walking and walking and more walking. This was exhilarating and one of the most satisfying introspective experience of my life.

And that is what most my own frivolous stuff purchases are about: the thrill of the moment or the association of objects with pleasant memories. It is tough sometimes to not confuse this kind of thrill with real happiness. I know that things don’t bring happiness, that only actions and relationships do. But I still fall for it (altough way less than I used to). Sometimes, after a coveted purchase, I even feel an exaltation that usually lasts for a week or so. I love the stuff fast and then fall out of love in a whim. I can even get pretty defensive with it (“Pleeaaaase don’t break my PDA…”).

No wonder advertisers focus so much on images of happiness to push their products. They hope that we associate their product to pleasant feelings. What they fail to mention, though is that stuff-induced exaltation always goes away. Stuff does not bring real happiness. I understand that this is common sense but I need to write it again. Stuff does not bring real happiness – but it can be fun sometimes -…

It is plain to see that I am not always successful at discerning what brings long term happiness. However, I always try to remember that it is not the things that make a moment happy, it is the people – yes, you there-.

Your very delayedlama.

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Invest in happiness : Part 1

When my parents brought up the idea of gifting me $10,000 just for the feat of having made it to 25 -without medical help-, I had mixed feelings. Sure I could use the money, but “did my parents save and sacrifice all their lives for me to have a better TV?”, I thought. Also, I just could not bear the thought of facing my parents’ legacy every night. So, in a swirl of guilt, enlightenment and cluelessness, I said “why don’t we invest the money in happiness instead?”. Needless to say, my parents were proud. And scared. And did not have any idea what I was talking about. So I proceeded to explain them that my greatest joy would be for them to use the money to reunite my siblings, I and all the kids the next summer in a nice vacation spot. This would be an amazing treat for us and a great way for them to once again bring us all together. We would basically buy ourselves a lifetime of memories.

That was one of the best ideas of my life (I can count those on the fingers of… well, just one finger). In the last five years, my family and I have done two of these “reunion vacations” and they truly brought us closer together. That money would have been gotten, spent and forgotten in a minute had my siblings and I received it ourselves. So, we are the living proof that investing in happiness works! I still miss that TV, though… but guilt, there is none.

As a group, we humans, are surprisingly lucid about what makes us happy: a satisfying family life, deep friendships, a meaningful career and a personal feeling of usefulness and belonging are cited endlessly in the happiness polls. But when comes the time to put our money where our mouth is, all that goes out the window and the lust for a big house, two big Lexus’, a trophy career and tons of stuff seems to prevail. What is happening to us?

Can we blame our behaviour on marketing? How convenient… Maybe it is the culture! Possible. Huh, maybe it is us? Now we are getting warmer. Let’s face it, we are suckers for status. It makes us feel good. Status is our favorite measuring stick. We just love to feel like giants among midgets.

Over the next weeks, I will expose my everyday struggle between the desire for status and the longing for a happier, simpler more satisfying life. I look forward to hear from the readers about their own struggles as well.

But in the meanwhile, let us all invest in happiness first!

For part 2, click here

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