I am not free of affluenza. I feel the strong daily pulls of the media and the people around me trying to suck me in. But, having grown up with traditional Chinese parents and in recent years, volunteering with an incredible group Tzu Chi, my desires of consumption and burying myself away from the community constantly fight the other more happier, conscious side of myself. A few years ago, I read an excellent book that my wonderful brother shared with me, titled “Affluenza” that really got me thinking about consumption and the direction that this country was heading. Recently, the author David Wann wrote an even better book “Simple Prosperity”, discussing the ways to get rid of affluenza, a book of which I have just started reading, but will definitely share with the rest of you.

Let me make a few points clear. Before any one decides to label me, I am not Buddhist. Though Tzu Chi is a Buddhist organization, any one of any race, ethnicity, and religion can join. It was brought about because the leader, Master Cheng-Yen wanted to pursue to get rid of pain and suffering in the world while also educating the more fortunate. Part of this was by saving and living an extremely simple life. Her belief has caused many people to join her in her mission, and many result in living much simpler but happier lives. What I say is revelant because it is in part of my discovery of Tzu Chi that helped me to truly understand what the world could be like if people let go of their desire to consume, put their differences aside, open their hearts and connect with their community. I always thought it was a pipe dream, but I have seen it happen. Because of the strong affinity I have with this organization, I may share a few very basic teachings and principles in future entries that apply to the idea of living simpler.

Upon reading this, readers may pigeonhole me to be either left or right, or however you like to see it. I constantly encounter this at the place of my work. I choose to believe that I am neither left or right. I’d rather say I am a compassionate and sometimes too passionate of a person who wants to believe that there is a better way of life than the life so many people in this world is blindly leading with dollar signs and profit margins in their eyes. I am often surrounded by blatant selfishness, and by this, I can start to feel the poison seep into my mind and I have to catch myself.

I hope that with this blog, with all of you, we can together bravely walk into a world where we can live a happier, simpler life. I don’t want this to be a site only about personal finances, de-cluttering, or organizing one’s life. These are all components of the resulting bigger picture: personal growth and self-empowerment, of self-discovery, of becoming more compassionate, of understanding and most of all, choosing happiness – for yourself and every one around you.

1. Pay off your debt and immediately start saving. Money is a huge factor that cause the stress in people’s lives. Get your finances in order. Especially now, with our weak economy, it is important to get all your ducks in a row. Though this is said plenty of times in other web sites, the key really is to spend less than you make. The less you spend, the more you will have. Create a budget if you need some way to control your finances.

2. Remove external influences as much as possible. Stay away from advertisements. Avoid commercials if you can. Change the channel when a commercial is on. Get rid of those magazines that will tempt you to even start thinking about wanting to buy. (This is a weakness I have, due to perusing SlickDeals all the time.) This helps not only your wallet, but there will not be the latest “wants” rolling around in your head of things you want to buy. Subconsciously, commercials and advertisements may be telling you that you’re not spending enough, that you’re not keeping up with the Joneses unless you have product A or B, therefore causing you more stress. Brave advertisements only if you have enough strong discipline to stay away from what the message of the clever marketers, but it’s strongly cautioned against from this lady. If you have friends that you go shopping with that are bad influences, find other activities you guys can do together without spending money.

3. Educate yourself. Many times the unknown causes undue stress and worry. Sometimes, a little research, asking friends and family for information, and finding all about what is causing your stress can really set your mind at ease.

4. Part with all that “stuff”. Sell it via eBay, Craigslist or donate it. I find the cleaner, more organized your home is, the more free and peaceful your mind becomes. Have you ever walked into a show home and felt so at peace and comfortable? Granted, it’s decorated nicely, but these homes have no clutter since they’re new. They have no objects or things or clutter from all the possessions  But the thing is, I’ve walked into homes that are fairly clean and well organized. People have argued that they don’t like these kind of upkept homes because it looks like no one lives there, but I would argue that the people who live in that home probably has a mind that probably is much more free of stress. I find when my work and sleep areas become buried in stuff, I don’t sleep as well. Clear your closet, clear your mind.

5 Take action now. If you need to do something, or want to do something, do it. (Well, unless it’s finally caving for that gadget you “must must” have!) Don’t wait until tomorrow, or the next day. We’ve all become professional procrastinators. I know this is something I definitely lag on, especially in scheduling my dentist/doctor’s/eye doctor’s appointment. I hate going to the doctor.

6. Volunteer. I find that this has a strong influence on the amount of money I spend, and the toughness of my mind. I’ve volunteered all my life and now volunteer at a group that covers a wide area of charity (recycling, environment, education, medical outreach, international relief, clean-up, etc.) Volunteering allows one to perhaps open one’s eyes to the world around them, the living situation of the poor, and to be thankful for what you do have. One may start to realize that what they worried about just the day before, probably isn’t that important to worry about any more. Volunteering can cause one to be very busy, therefore not causing you to spend more money, keeps you on your toes, and actually makes you feel good. I realize not everyone likes to volunteer, but I think it really helps free your mind. This is a subject I’m fairly passionate about, though I do feel guilty for not volunteering more.

7. Exercise and Eat Better. Do yoga, pilates, meditate, increase endorphins. We know that exercise really helps induce endorphins and helps diminish one’s stress levels. Not only will exercise help you with your stress, but one will become healthier.The same applies with food. It is sad that certain foods may cause you to become moody, which may add to stress. With a better diet and a good exercise regimen and the affects of both on health, who can argue with this?

8. Balance yourself. This is probably one of the most difficult aspects of going worry-free. By “balancing” yourself, I mean not to disturb your chi. While talking to my friends, I find their complaints range all over the place – to their relationships, their workplace, their friends, their pockets, their job – the list goes on and on. One should either a) do something about it to change the situation or c) let it go. It’s human nature to complain. It’s even more female nature to complain because we want to vent. My male friends so often complain to me how females need to vent, and how it surprises them how they don’t want to fix the situation. I’m probably guilty of the situation too – by complaining or making excuses. (More the latter than the former). However, I truly believe that if you can’t control an undesirable situation — either try to change it, or let it go. Venting is all well and good – especially the first few times, but after that, it does nothing to help with your being. For example, for the longest time many of us were disgruntled by the actions of one of our closest friends – let’s say his name was Ben. For a period of time, a few of us would go on and on about how angry we were and couldn’t believe what our friend’s actions — and this would go on every night.  One especially was letting it affect her to the point where she wanted to yell, scream and make a few drastic reactions. However, I reached the point where I knew I had to talk to Ben. Well, I spoke with him, and Ben just didn’t get why we were all feeling the way we did. At this point, I let it go, knowing it would not go anywhere and knowing I had done all that I possibly could. Not only would I be wasting my breath if I continued, I would be wasting my energy discussing about something Ben was doing when Ben himself wasn’t thinking too much about it at all. Bottom line – don’t let things bother you when you have no control over the situation. Accept it and then move on. You’ll be happier that you did.

9. Most importantly, change your attitude. This encompasses a great many things. Desire less. Want less. Be content with what you have. Open your heart. It can be surprising the amount of stress and worry can dissipate when you simply change your attitude. This is the single most important lesson we all can learn. This not only applies to stress but in so many other aspects of our lives.

This was extremely long winded, and the things I listed certainly are not the only things one can do to try to be free yourself from stress. What are some things you do to relieve yourself from stress?

For part 1, click here

“I’d rather be shopping at Nortstrom”. I spotted that bumper sticker on my way home one day.”That is so sad” I thought. “I can’t believe people would reduce themselves to that”. I then quickly started my MP3 player, grabbed my PDA phone, drove on and spent antoher gallon of gas promising myself to not let that happen to me…

An inch passed my self-righteousness, I realized that I was really not all that different. I have owned 3 PDA’s in the last five years, four computers in the last 10 years and quite some more electronics gadgets. In college, I literally spent every dollar I made on electronics . The news was out : I was a consumer, and a pretty darn good one at that.

Life, Liberty and The pursuit of happy moments

I can track my lust for PDAs to about 10 years ago. One of my first professional assignment was a three months stint in Paris. “First time away from home, better get organized” I thought. So I found a cool Cassiopeia E-10 to hold all my life in before taking the plunge. It even had a voice recorder! I had an amazing time there. Every night, I would leave work at 6PM and just start walking down the streets of the city. About 15 miles a day, every day for three months. I spent countless hours making up melodies and recording them. And then walking and walking and more walking. This was exhilarating and one of the most satisfying introspective experience of my life.

And that is what most my own frivolous stuff purchases are about: the thrill of the moment or the association of objects with pleasant memories. It is tough sometimes to not confuse this kind of thrill with real happiness. I know that things don’t bring happiness, that only actions and relationships do. But I still fall for it (altough way less than I used to). Sometimes, after a coveted purchase, I even feel an exaltation that usually lasts for a week or so. I love the stuff fast and then fall out of love in a whim. I can even get pretty defensive with it (“Pleeaaaase don’t break my PDA…”).

No wonder advertisers focus so much on images of happiness to push their products. They hope that we associate their product to pleasant feelings. What they fail to mention, though is that stuff-induced exaltation always goes away. Stuff does not bring real happiness. I understand that this is common sense but I need to write it again. Stuff does not bring real happiness – but it can be fun sometimes -…

It is plain to see that I am not always successful at discerning what brings long term happiness. However, I always try to remember that it is not the things that make a moment happy, it is the people – yes, you there-.

Your very delayedlama.

That was one of the best ideas of my life (I can count those on the fingers of… well, just one finger). In the last five years, my family and I have done two of these “reunion vacations” and they truly brought us closer together. That money would have been gotten, spent and forgotten in a minute had my siblings and I received it ourselves. So, we are the living proof that investing in happiness works! I still miss that TV, though… but guilt, there is none.

As a group, we humans, are surprisingly lucid about what makes us happy: a satisfying family life, deep friendships, a meaningful career and a personal feeling of usefulness and belonging are cited endlessly in the happiness polls. But when comes the time to put our money where our mouth is, all that goes out the window and the lust for a big house, two big Lexus’, a trophy career and tons of stuff seems to prevail. What is happening to us?

Can we blame our behaviour on marketing? How convenient… Maybe it is the culture! Possible. Huh, maybe it is us? Now we are getting warmer. Let’s face it, we are suckers for status. It makes us feel good. Status is our favorite measuring stick. We just love to feel like giants among midgets.

Over the next weeks, I will expose my everyday struggle between the desire for status and the longing for a happier, simpler more satisfying life. I look forward to hear from the readers about their own struggles as well.

But in the meanwhile, let us all invest in happiness first!

For part 2, click here